and now for another view...

Yesterday I felt as if the world was ending, my heart was breaking, and I was dying. Then I woke up today to find that, sadly and happily, the world moves on without me. I guess God gives us trials and "troubles" to show us which way's up, and to show us who really cares. One thing I'm observing is my great ability to be unseen. I was at the friendship banquet last night, and it really was not too bad. The only thing was, I felt totally and completely unnoticed by my peers. I spent a portion of the night just trying to find a group of people that would notice me, include me, and talk to me. It's not easy. This gave way to a feeling of total aloneness. Have you ever felt this way? I started thinking that maybe there was something terribly wrong with me. Yes, this would explain why everyone was ignoring me, leaving me out, and goiung on with their schedules as if I didn't exist. Do I exist? am I just a blob of nothing, that only a select few can even recognize? If not, where are their hearts? can't they recognize me in my misery? Jesus commanded us to love one another, and yet at this Christian school I see nothing but prejudice and bias, perfect little people in their perfect little cliques. This is not to say I am friendless, I am very thankful for the friends I have. I just feel so OUTSIDE of everything sometimes. Is this truth, or a lie? In conclusion... the cloud has passed, but the confusion remains. what is there for me? MariE