crying inside or out

I have come to the conclusion that crying on the inside is bad for you. I always get this dreadful headache and I feel like I'm going to puke. Do those sound like indicators to YOU? I often cry the hard way, only letting it go on inside of me. this just creates buildup and a chance of an explosion. outward crying is purification. all the hurt and anguish that you have been feeling comes out, and when you're done, it feels, surprisingly, like there might be hope. I sometimes feel as if the outward crying is too ovbious of a sign of pain, and that hiding it should occur at all costs. I've let my emotions show too many times for my good. I wish that crying in public wasn't disgraceful. I recently noticed a side-effect to trying to control outward tears. On me, I blotch up ALL OVER and my eyes become bloodshot to the point where I look like I've been crying all my life even though it was only about a minute of suppressed tears in the bathroom stall. so much for hiding myself from others to avoid hurt. MariE P.S. sorry that this blog only barely hangs on to a string of sanity.