for all the times I doubt you

"For The Moments I Feel Faint" Am I at the point of no improvement? What of the death I still dwell in? I try to excel, but I feel no movement. Can I be free of this unreleasable sin? [Chorus:]Never underestimate my Jesus. You're telling me that there's no hope. I'm telling you your wrong. Never underestimate my Jesus When the world around you crumbles He will be strong, He will be strong I throw up my hands "Oh, the impossibilities" Frustrated and tired Where do I go from here? Now I'm searching for the confidence I've lost so willingly Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fear [Chorus] I think I can't, I think I can't But I think you can, I think you can I think I can't, I think I can't But I think you can, I think you can Gather my insufficiencies and place them in your hands, place them in your hands, place them in your hands by Relient K

the providence that we meet again

MY ALI IS COMING HOME!!!!! let's just say that I am super-thrilled jumping up and down and wanting to cry at the same time. Just last week I was worried I would never see her again, and that she would end up in prison for something she was forced to do. God's providence is evident. He knows the things that are most important to me, and He cares about my friends, too. I honestly almost gave up, but he still had work to do. Pray that she and I can make up for lost time and that she will be able to come to Faith! I can't wait to see her. Also, she did get into some trouble so pray that it would get resolved and wouldnt affect her life too much. ~THANK YOU JESUS~ -mari *

uncommon connections

Just as a heads up, from now on all songs/poems I post will have the author's name at the bottom. some will be me, some will be favorite songs. I wrote the poem, and Superchick is the band that sings the song. ok? OK! cool.

and now, without further ado...

"Porcelain Heart"
Broken heart one more time
Pick yourself up, why even cry
Broken pieces in your hands
Wonder how you'll make it whole

[Chorus:]You know, you pray
This can't be the way
You cry, you say
Something's gotta change
And mend this porcelain heart of mine

Someone said "A broken heart
Would sting at first then make you stronger"
You wonder why this pain remains
Were hearts made whole just to break
Creator only You take brokenness
And create it into beauty once again

by Barlow Girl

"Suddenly"

She feels lost in her own life
Treading water just to keep from slipping under
And she wonders if she's where she's supposed to be
Tired of trying to do it right
Her dreams are just too far away to see how
steps she's making might be taking her to who she'll be

And suddenly it isn't what it used to be
And after all this time it worked out just fine
And suddenly i am where i'm supposed to be
And after all the tears, i was supposed to be here

She feels locked in her own life
Scared of what she might lose
If she moves away from who she wasAnd she's afraid of being free
There's a way she knows is right
And she can't feel the things she knows and so each step she's taking
Is a step of faith towards who she'll be

And suddenly it isn't what it used to be
And after all this time it worked out just fine
And suddenly i am where i'm supposed to be
And after all the tears, i was supposed to be here

And here where the night is darkest black
She feels the fear
And the light is farthest back
And through her tears
She can see the dawn
Its coming skies will clear
And the light will find her where she's always been

And suddenly it isn't what it used to be
And after all this time it worked out just fine
And suddenly i am where i'm supposed to be
And after all the tears, i was supposed to be here

all alone in a crowd?

sometimes I wish that I could walk down a hall and everyone would want to talk to me and be with me. I realize that this is pretty selfish, and I think in reality impossible. However, sometimes I feel as if my whole life is a big joke and I will never be understood for the real me. I hide behind my comfy mask and I'm afraid to be me. I act obnoxious because all I really want is for someone to take a liking to me, notice that I'm there. I get used to the act, but then there are moments of panic, scared that someone will find out who I really am and hate the real me more than the fake one. I feel all alone in a room full of people, people who judge by appearances... people like me, who hurt and bleed and can't seem to find relief because they are clinging on to the things that can't satisfy. I know the way out... why don't I choose it?

MariE

for the sake of a life

when I think about all of the children in the world that are so hungry and they dont know when their next meal is coming, that scares me

when I think about all of the mothers and fathers with AIDS and no Jesus, that scares me

when I think of the people who throw their lives away drinking and doing drugs and being stupid, that scares me

when I think about all of the pregnant teens with no one to turn to and a long and lonely road ahead, that scares me.

without the grace of God, there am I.

poetry in motion...

Look Past the Mask

In my eyes, you can see the life and the death.
The tears and the triumphs
You can see my heart and my mind

My eyes show what I’m really thinking
The depths of my soul
The desires of my heart

Look into my eyes
What do you see?
Do you see the real me, or a mask?

I wear a mask to conform
To become who I am not
To try and lose myself, in this world of lonely souls

To become a shadow

I have hidden myself from you
But now my eyes betray me
They show you what I really feel

I cannot tell you what comes next
Even my heart barely knows it
I look for hope and love…

With steady gaze I look to the future, determined.
Embracing what is to come,
Yet longing for the past

When you can see what I’m thinking
In my dark and mysterious eyes
You will know me

-mari... enjoy?

p.s. feel free to criticize me or whatever... I would like to be a better poet.

my life as an anonymous blogger

I guess you could say that this is the trillionth blog thingy I've signed up for. so in order to make my transition into blogger an interesting one, I feel as if I should say something interesting. too bad that doesn't fit my character. :). oh well. its nice to be blogging again!