More of an unknown past!

so... Hi! this week has been hectic. I want to apologize to Trenton, Brandon and Betsy for being uptight and maybe bossy and ... irresponsible. I really feel bad. Good news is that ... our work is DONE! YAY! so... yeah.

so... I think some of my friends have stalkers. scary.

I think I made a stupid decision and now a friend is no longer a friend. I'm sad.

I really have no energy to say anything else. bye!

Mari

who I am hates who I've been

HI! to my loyal readership of all of one and a half readers.... what's up? I've been having a pretty splendid week off of school. Not much has happened, but it's still been fun. Today I went to see the pink panther movie with Tiffany. Jon, Robbie, Joel and Matt were SUPPOSED to be there, but I think they ran away and hid from us or something. Eh, their loss. I think my hand is infected with gangrene and I will have to cut it off shortly. Oh well, never liked being left handed anyways... Well, I think I've forgotten ALL of my lines from "Brer Rabbit yada yada yada", your nice little choric speaking piece for which I am eternally grateful. Without it... I would be nervously shaking like a leaf while trying to deliver oodles of underprepared memorized or manuscript speeches.Oh yeah... its called Tug of War. anyways. Tonite I will stay home and attend to my sisters while my parents go to some fancy restaurant and take a brief respite from their busy, complicated, nervewracking life. I will try not to hurtle my sisters across the room when I get miffed at them. The olympics have begun, and I am very happy.Ice skating is my favorite, because they all look so full of beauty and grace and confidence, three things I feel I lack.I watch them in awe, wishing that I could take back ten years of my life and start anew on a track towards beauty, and fluidity, and ice. I also like to watch skiing, although sometimes I fail to see the point in hurtlying yourself down a mountain with no knowing if you're going to make it to the bottom. Have a wonderful sunday, enjoy church and all of that good stuff. Mari :) P.S. I actually LOVE being left-handed, except for the annoying pencil marks I find on the side of my hand after feverishly taking notes in Mrs. Borgman's class.Also... I never fling my sisters across the room. Don't be alarmed.

red or brown?

should my hair be red, or brown? I doubt anyone will respond, but maybe....

A no-way street

Have you ever felt like you were stuck on a road where there was no going forward and no turning back? As if your "car" is stuck in the mud... and there are cars racing toward you on both sides! I have felt that way for a long time now, but I think relief is finally coming my way... God, in the form of a tow truck, to get me out of the muck and the mire. I just need to hand him the keys. ever yours truly, MariE

Petty Observances (Observations)

Well, I think the main point of life is to love God, serve him, and love and serve others. The best part about loving others is getting to know strange things about them, and wanting to get to know them better. Take almost anyone in my class at Faith and apply this principle. After reading Rachel's blog, I really have a new view on her, and on life. She brings a fresh perspective. I've never really taken the time to get to know her, but I hope she would like to know me, and we can be friends. Alec is another one of those cool people that I really don't know. I have no reason, really. I've realized lately that he's REALLY funny! and I appreciate him for his sense of humor and for his zany personality. I'm grateful for the friends I have, but I want to make new ones and not miss out on anything... Maybe, this new year of 2006 will bring new people, new experiences, and new life to my ever-changing existance. Mari P.S. Valentines Day is over-rated... but if anyone really wants to bless me, I challenge you to change my view. I'll try and return the favor... :)

cliques are GREAT, join one!

For most of my life, I thought I was totally fine being on the outside of the clique, because I thought I had my own clique to rely on. Why is being cool so important? I'm not sure. I guess I just feel incredibly left out because I read on all these blogs about how all these "cool" people have fun and laugh and they all think each other is AWESOME and I want to be awesome too. I'm not sure how to explain, but people always said that Faith was just full of cliques, and I never really believed them until lately. It makes me sad, I wish I could just laugh and talk and make memories with everyone. Why not? Must we all miss out on real life because we are so self-absorbed? Is that the plan God has for us? I think not. _MariE the uncool

the whole thing at once

Hi! This is me again, i think. I felt really sick today... it wasn't fun. Oh well. I think my blog is boring... no one ever comments on it. But OH WELL! life goes on. I realize that there aren't always things to write about. so today, I'll just ramble. Here are a few things you may not know about me: my favorite crayola crayon is called macaroni and cheese. normally when cute guys look at me I think they're starting at my zits in disgust. I LOVE to make things with clay. Its one of the things I really feel good about. I don't try new things because I'm afraid of failure I am scared of spiders crawling into my mouth when I sleep. I wish I was in the "in crowd" I wish I could be friends with everyone My middle name is Katherine I am a bowler, and thus, a nerd. Sometimes being a nerd is more fun than being cool. Red is the color of confidence. But I'm not very confident. hmmm. I think that it would be very cool to marry Matt Theissien. from Relient K. and so, here's a song for throught. "Be My Escape" I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption because I know to live you must give your life away And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because I gotta get outta here I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake I gotta get outta here And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape. I’m giving up on doing this alone now Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there And this life sentence that I’m serving I admit that I’m every bit deserving But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity andI’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because I gotta get outta here Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake I gotta get outta here And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape. I am a hostage to my own humanity Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because I’ve gotta get outta here I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake I’ve gotta get outta here And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape. I fought You for so longI should have let You in Oh how we regret those things we do And all I was trying to do was save my own skin But so were You So were You