other smack-dad things

My heart hurts right now. Thank goodness for Jesus! have you ever cried so hard you almost threw up? Casting Crowns is a really good christian band. my favorite song is "what if his people prayed" I really like the one about Jack and the American dream too. I forget the title? oh well I love my friends so much. This is a shout-out to all of you, because without you I would be very lonely! how about July 15 for a luau?

freight rates and persian dates

so! Work yesterday was pretty horrid. I mean, normally I just worry about getting MY job done, but yesterday I had to get two jobs done. That's because there's this guy at work who doesnt know how to do anything but dining room, and he isn't good at that either. I'm pretty sure he only wiped 10 tables the whole five hour shift. I had to wipe tables, stock condiments, wipe down filthy counters, etc, etc. I mean, normally I'm happy to serve, but when he does nothing it makes me mad. I felt kinda bad cuz i was so "mean" to him. I kept telling what to do and everything like that. But honestly! when the ketchup and ice are empty, when the trash is full, and all the tables are dirty, and there are no medium cup lids! ugh! I just realized that this whole post is dedicated to complaining. So, if you don't want to read it, stop now. I'm sorry for being selfish. I don't know why I was so mad. ok. I guess the logical thing to do would be to pray for this guy. That's hard! I mean, Its not that I dont think God is good, I just feel like... I dunno... weird about it. I'm glad God has unconditional love, cuz I sure don't. *SIGH* ok. hmmm. Tonight I'm going to watch the pink panther and go to the taste. fun fun fun under the... sun? it's supposed to be 92 degrees in the straight-up shade today. I hope I'm not runner. I am so thankful for my friends. they keep me sane. Last night at work I was almost crying and then Jhurl and Jenni came in to eat and talked to me for a lil bit and I felt better. Kelsey came in a lil later and gave me a hug, it helped a lot. hugs are like medicine to my aching heart. ok, so that was corny. whatever. love and everything else, mari

Growing Pains

Guess what, mommy and daddy? I'm not a two-year-old anymore!

wow. I'm amazed at how old and big I feel.I mean, I've always known that I was gonna grow up one day. But, I guess I wish I had a bit more time to play dollies and sing kid songs and dance around like a crazy kook. Maybe I'll still do all of that when I'm forty. That would be fun. tee hee.
I'm excited about some aspects of growing up. Today me and my parents signed me up for a debit card. It's a nifty peice of plastic! I'm trying to be responsible with money, and this will really help me to separate my savings from spending money. yay...

But at the same time, some things scare me. Like... having to pay for everything, and having to take care of everything and remembering to buy toothpaste and apples. Going to college and dating and getting a job! all these things are kinda scary. I guess I'll just trust God no matter what, but I wish I had some little clue as to the future.

What I really want to do is to become a fashion designer and design clothes for teenage girls and guys that are fashionable and modest at the same time. so, that way teenagers will realize that looking good and showing skin do not equal one another. I think that God has given me a creative mind and that He will show me how to use it.

Eventually I want to get married, but one of my biggest fears is that my husband will stop loving me and want a divorce. kinda twisted, huh? I guess since my mom's parents were divorced, and it hurt my mom so bad, it scares me a lot.

I just realized that this is not a very conclusive post.

love you all.

-Mari

Summer Blues

So! this is cool, summer. I'm heading towards my senior year. exciting, hmmm? I just got Randell to agree to give me six days a week instead of three, which is pretty good, I guess. My dad wanted me to get a second job, and it was stressing me out a lil bit. I'm hoping he'll be happy that I've got 28 hours a week? I've decided that there's a fourth type of guy: the CREEP! this guy is a sicko. that's all I can say. He lets his hormones and weird thoughts control him. that pretty much says it all. so, im hoping to have a party soon. not a wild kegger, NO MA'AM! Just a good ole Luau with hawaiian music and kabobs. yay. so, those who read my blogger are officially invited even tho im not sure of the official date yet. hehe. Mari

the three kinds of guys!

the three kinds of males Recently I've come to the conclusion that there are three types of guys: jerks, wanna-be's, and the nice guy. These three guys are pretty much the extremes, but most guys gravitate towards one of the extremes.I will now proceed to explain each prototype to you! the JERK: this type of guy is only concerned with his reputation with other guys. In the meantime, he plows through girls' hearts and leaves gaping holes. He's got nicknames like pimp and player, which he will sometimes own up to.He likes to have ten unofficial girlfriends at a time, and for him the relationships are purely physical. He will grow up to be a domineering and controling man with no particular goal in mind. Ladies, stay away from this kind of guy! The "Wanna-be": this is the guy that no one can figure out. One minute he's really nice and giving you teddy bears, and the next minute he's got his arm around your best friend. He craves attention and while he doesnt intentionally try to hurt anyone, he tends to be so indecisive that someone always gets hurt. He isn't sure if bad boys or nice guys finish first, so he tries to be both. he has a lot of aquaintances and not very many close friends. This type of guy is dangerous because he may have a totally different intention than you suspect. Mr. nice guy: This guy is friendly, courteous and fun. He likes to have a good time, but not at anyone's expense. He seems to live compassionately and is looking out for others. He has his moments of wanna-be and jerk, but for the most part he's nice-guy through and through. He's the one that you smile about for no reason. this kind of a guy is rare and a keeper. He opens doors and has a good rep with your parents. He'd be allowed to date your baby sister. I actually have no idea why I decided to figure all this out about guys. I know I don't even have all of guys figured out, maybe not even 5%. But i decided to share my feelings for some strange reason. Don't be too hard on me with your comments.... love you all lots... Mari p.s. I think it would be funny to know what categories guys would put girls into... anyone up to the challenge? lol.

shadows

I used to think I knew a lot of things but I’m not so sure now I used to trust most people but I don’t remember how to trust the world is a dangerous place that I find myself in, There liars are the truth and the truth is a lie The masks, they keep us from ourselves They turn the pure man vengeful No longer look within to find A heart that isn’t hateful Just observe the wicked mask That tears our dreams apart Our safety is not a right, nor a privilege Behind closed doors the masks come off We bear our souls out to the shadows But shadows are unfeeling Unmoving, uncaring, and dead. NO, shadow, you can’t have me! I refuse to submit to your demands I want to be me, living out with the free I can break free of this graven image My life can once more breathe fresh air I am not confined to the life Others choose for me I will be mine, and mine alone YOU will not control me, shadow. Your bitter reign has lost its power Even now I feel the sun Streaming in to my dark shadow room Filling my soul with a new hope and life And finally… I can breathe

by: Me

culvers!

culvers so.... let me take a deep breathe so i don't scream obscenities. I am so sick of being exhausted. And it seems like there is a never-ending struggle between what is easy and what is right. Im sick of work where no one asks how im doing and I get blamed for others' stupid mistakes. I start out the day so optimistic but by the end i feel lower than dirt. I cried on my way out. I dont even really know why. I think I have friends there, but sometimes I'm not sure. Today before work I was really sick and threw up, not very fun. And my mommy's all the way in Hawaii, so no one's here to take care of me! oh well, I need to stop complaining. I'm sure theres good in this day, somewhere. I mean, I slept til 1, for pete's sake! I've only been awake 10 hours! Oh well. Life goes on. Mari.